Today is first day for fasting. But i'll try to write something here. Something what i felt, what was i need, what was i want also..
First, do you know Abdel?
Hmm. Ya. He was being my boyfriend in relation.
My name is Tyas and i had a boyfriend, his names Abdel I thought he love me, he really cares to me, sometimes he protected me, and he always gave me advices. But, i think he is over. Na na... just wait. I'll tell you why i said like that.
We already weave ours relation almost one year. I love him so much. And maybe he was also. Everything that he want, i gave if i can. Really i love him, i tried to be good, i tried to be better than before, i tried to followed what he want what he said, i tried to love him whatever he is. Seriously, he is the best man i ever had. He is mature..
But suddenly i lost my feeling to him. But i tried to still love him. He just celebrated his birthday, i gave anything to him. We were going dinner but i got such during we were eating. How shock i am when i saw some comments with sweet words in his account social media. Hmm who are they? I knew. But i dont know what the purpose they were to said like that. Poor. I saw not once, but often. Bot only in this application, but another too. I tried to keep, cause i wont to fight with him. Then my friend, Yani told me if someone tried to close with him at school. I dont know who is she actually, but i guessed she is Manda. His classmate. Yani told everything that she saw at school without me was there.
Uff.. i lost my felt, then he made some problems. I wont discuss about that. Still, i wont fight wih him. I wanna be focus with my thesis's chapters.
After two days, we got some problems anymore...
I thought if he isn't respect with my parents cause his words to me. Really? He is someone special foe me before, but why he must to said like that. I lost my feel too much. He thought if he was joking. Its not funny. Im mad and very upset. We lost contact around one week. After three days, if im not wrong.. he update status on his blackberry messanger. He said "kaget aja liat fotonya ada di profil orang lain😂😂".. i knew but i dont care.
Enjoy with my chapters, pleaae focus. Do not think anything that make your focus breaks...
Then after four days from his status, he tried to contact me. He said he want to talk something about our relation with me. I said i wont and please talk here in blackberry messanger. And he saing many things, so long message. Still, i wont debate about it. I wanna be focus.
Memabahas masalah nikah, etika, dan lainnya. Aku hanya meng-iya-kan saja. Kalau saja aku mencoba menjelaskan, aku yakin dia engga akan ngerti apa yang aku maksud. Dan dia memberi keputusan untuk mecari seseorang yang lebih pasti untuk menghalalkan. Apa maksud kata-kata itu? Tidak langsung memutuskan hubungan. Aku bilang iya, terima kasih.
Aku rasa dia cemburu melihat updatean foto profil temanku di India yang menggunakan foto aku. Aduh! Ya kali aku selingkuh sama orang disana. Kalau mau mah kenapa engga cari selingkuhan yang dekat saja?
Baiklah saya malas dan sangat malas membahas itu. Karena saya fikir dia tidak menghargai orang tua saya dengan kata-kata dan sikapnya. Saya tidak suka kalau hanya orang tuanya saja yang ingin di hormati. Hmm..
Katanya suaraku terlalu lepas kalau bicara dengan lelaki. Hei.. apakah anda mencintai saya karena suara saya?
Katanya ia merasa sakit hati saat membahas menikah. Hei.. apakah saya salah untuk menjaga jarak untuk itu?
Selang beberapa hari dia menghapus saya dari pertemanan. Sebelumnya dia mengirim pesan lewat akun sosial. Yang intinya ia merasa kecewa karena melihat foto saya ada di akun teman saya dan dengan melihat komentar kali di foto tersebut. Alas!
Many things that i wont to discuss. Hmm.. kita sama-sama tidak ingin salah dan ingin paling benar. Terlebih dia mengomentari masalah agama saya debgan judgement nya. Wouw! Goodnes. Tapi itu tidak semestinya menrut saya.
Abdel is kind.. i was love him as well until he changed his attitude :)
